2/10

Folks, before seeing Avatar, I could easily divine from the trailers that is was going to be good looking but stupid.

Post viewing I would like to make one small modification and say it was VERY good looking, but still stupid.

Empire magazine and the newspapers have been telling us for months that 3D movies are coming back, they’re back in force and they’re here to stay. I was sceptical of these claims, thinking it would be just another passing fad, but after seeing the new 3D technology I was really pleased and surprised by how comfortable and effective it is. There were times I felt like dodging things flying our of the screen or reaching up to grab them. I think we’re going to see more big budget 3D movies and I look forward to seeing the technology applied to the novelty genres that exploit it most effectively. I might even go to see the upcoming Alice in Wonderland in 3D ... just because it’s in 3D.

The terrible danger is of course that the arrival of 3D will produce visually stunning movies to the detriment of all else. Sadly this has happened with Avatar, and since this the first big budget 3D movie off the starting block, I feel quite worried.

James Cameron put so much effort into making Avatar one of the most beautiful looking movies in cinema history that he forgot about the plot, the acting, the dialogue, the pacing and the music. The people who have paid a billion dollars to see Avatar have been tricked: they’ve all been so stunned by the looks that they’ve lost their critical faculties. I haven’t (I hope) lost my faculties, as while I was enjoying the 3D spectacle as much as anyone I noticed the following:

• The music is tedious and monotonous, just being more of that generic bloated orchestra pap you get in most modern action blockbusters. Although they did seem to blend in a bit of Lord of The Rings and a David Attenborough wildlife documentary to give it an “Indian” feel. I can only remember one “dreamlike” action sequence that broke the monotony.
• The dialogue was mostly just pointless narrative padding, and was laughable at times. I certainly chuckled a few times at the corny lines, and I feel the actors were struggling to look interested. I groaned aloud at the military anti-terrorism rhetoric.
• The acting was barely better than acceptable in the best case and downright wooden in the worst cases.
• The plot was as stupidly simplistic as I expected, but I also found myself a bit irritated by the continuous parade of stereotypes. The overall plot with scientists, soldiers, greedy company execs and avatars mixing back-and-forth with the natives made little sense. I felt no empathy for any of the characters or actors.
• The whole plot was saturated with pseudo-sixties hippie peacenik sentiment.
• It’s too long. Half an hour could easily have been left on the cutting room floor. Hell, all the dialogue could have been removed and it would have been a much better movie.

So overall, it’s a fabulous looking movie thanks to the 3D, but everything else was inferior. What makes me so angry is that Cameron could easily have given us a movie that was good looking and well-acted and well-paced and thought provoking, but he doesn’t seem to have bothered.

After coming out of the movie we all just sort of sat around and ummed and arrhed about it, with little to say. I felt like I had seen the whole story play out in a predictable straight narrative line, then it ended and there was nothing to discuss. There was not a single attribute of this movie that would compel me to see it again. There were no plot twists, no enigmatic characters, no mysteries, no ambiguities ... nothing to make me revisit this movie. One episode of Babylon 5 or Buffy back in the 90s could contain more revisit thills than the whole of the Avatar movie.

Cheers,
Greg

AUGUST 2022 NOTE — I said above that big budget 3D movies might be coming back, and that I might enjoy them. Twelve years later, I will admit I was deluded and completely wrong ... The 3D glasses I purchased before attending Avatar have been sitting in the bookshelf since then, and they have never never used in another 3D movie. I never went to see the 3D Alice in Wonderland made by Tim Burton, and I'm glad I didn't (see my review). I think there really was a chance for 3D movies to make a comeback and become a viable choice for cinema attendees with certain genres of movies, but the studios blew the chance by predictably overindulging and wasting the technology on utterly stupid (but visually spectacular) movies, thereby ruining 3D's reputation. I don't think any "serious" or respectable movie has been released in 3D. Imagine a James Bond movie in 3D! I would seriously have considered taking the 3D glasses to see some good 'ol Bond action on the big screen, or perhaps some big budget Sci-Fi movies like Arrival or Inception would also have been enhanced by 3D, but that never happened. Why?

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