In June 2000 we spent six dreadful days in Cairns under grey skies with rainstorms and 30 knot winds. We didn't see the sun until the morning we flew out when there was a small break in the weather. The locals told us that the weather had been strange most of the year 2000, apparently due to lingering effects from a distant cyclone in the South Pacific. It's difficult to describe this holiday without swearing. I just lament the thousands of dollars and frequent flyer points that were utterly wasted. I'm not joking when I say that the best part of the holiday was sitting in Qantas business class during the flights up and back. Have you ever been on a holiday where you felt like a hostage?

Port Douglas

Here are the famous sprawling lagoon pools of Sheraton Mirage resort in Port Douglas. The only life we saw in the pool during our stay were some insects and a staff member with a vacuum cleaner. This famous resort is clearly overrated. The rooms are comfortable but a little tattered around the edges, we didn't see anything to support the 5-star rating. The price of food and wine inside the resort is bordering on the absurd. It's $25 for a small pizza on room service. It's $50 per head for the restaurant smorgasboard, which is fine if you can eat $50 worth of food, but neither of us are anywhere near capable of that. Wine is typically triple or quadruple the retail price. On the morning we checked-out were shocked to discover that staff members had a sheet of paper listing customers who were checking-out, then they went to each listed room and rang the doorbell to wake-up or alert customers that "their time was up". We could hear the bells ringing in the distance and coming closer as the staff worked along the rooms. Would you expect this at a "world class" 5-star resort? I would urge people to stay well away from this place.

Here we are enjoying lunch at the Sheraton Mirage. Notice how excited, relaxed and happy we look (that's sarcasm, just in case you weren't sure).

Thanks go to Veikko and Judi who took us out for a tour of Port Douglas and found a good Italian restaurant for dinner. Veikko can be seen on the right of this blend of two photos showing the view south from the top of the mountain overlooking the town. The dreaded Sheraton Mirage is the thin white patch in the middle distance down the coast.

Green Island

Due to the no-refund policy of our holiday there was no point in canceling our two nights on Green Island and flying home early, so we spent two days sitting in our room watching videos to avoid the wind and rain. Luckily, I smuggled two bottles of wine onto the island so we could avoid paying the quadrupled prices. No photos of our 2000 stay on Green Island exist.

No other significant pictures of this holiday exist, in fact, I think the ones on this page only exist because I was so bored I decided to fiddle with the camera.

Afterword (June 2006)

Just when you think that the holiday you want to forget is forgotten, the following whacked-out email arrives today. My reply follows.

I presume this stupid woman didn't see my adjacent page that describes the wonderful 1998 Cairns Holiday.